Hi guys…..

Before we start,  you better get a cuppa tea and sit down……this one is a bit of an epic!  Today’s post covers about 10 days and …. Ermm…  might take a while to get through!.... as quite a bit happens in the next few days.....

15^th October……..  Quite a day!

Today we have another big day.  Our plan over the next few days is to leave Maun (in central Botswana) and travel all the way to the border of Zambia, in the north.  On the way we have a couple of overnights and a couple of National parks to visit. 

The only complication is there are no tarmac roads and no shops, villages or petrol stations on the way and the trip will be over 800km, most of it in 4x4….  In deep sand…..  (This uses a lot more fuel) 

So first things first pack up camp in Maun……

Henry the Hilux, has a bad day.

We pack everything up…..   the car battery is flat…….   Don’t know why?.....  Anyway manage to get it push started.

Lorraine discovers that we have to get the permits from the town…..  Which will only delay our departure.  We had everything packed up by 6am, but the permit office doesn’t open till 7:30am.  Still this gives us enough time to get supplies, water and make sure all the petrol cans are full to the brim!

Whilst making a quick u’turn in the road, trying to find the permit office, we hit a big pot hole……  Henry disagrees with this quite a lot and stalls……

We pick up the permits and head off toward morami game reserve…… 

We haven’t gone 2 miles when we notice the canopy on the back (our 4x4 is basically a pickup truck with a separate canopy that fits snugly on the back) is sitting oddly…  we pull over and discover that the bump in the road has made the canopy slip slightly…..  On closer inspection the 4 clips that hold the canopy to the car…..  are either missing, don’t work or in the process of breaking…….  This is quite ANOYING!.... if we hit a big bump we could lose the canopy….  and with it, our roof  tent……  we manage to repair it (very badly) with some cable ties.

After the first 20km of our journey the tarmac disappears and we start driving on gravel roads.

5 miles later….  The canopy is holding well……  But the engine is developing a miss fire……  it would cough a little when accelerating….. we decide to keep an eye on it!... (what else can we do?) we decide to rename him Hiccupping Henry

2 hours later, we arrive at Morami Game Park.  This place is very different to etosha national park in Namibia…..  here the is no easy driving on gravel roads.   In comparison, etosha feels a bit like a Disney park and this place is a PROPER safari.  The tracks are deep sand and virtually no signs.  We start to feel like proper explorers!  There is no doubt that in a normal car, we would be stuck before we left the gate.  We engage the 4x4 and let most of the air out of the tyres (oddly this helps with grip in the sand) and off we go!!

½ hour later……. As we are driving….  We hear a smash…..  a bump in the road has jolted some of the camping gear…. That then went through the rear window of the canopy….  ARSE!....  this is looking like it’s going to be one of those days…

Within no time we come to our first water crossing….. that’s right, water crossing…. No bridges here!  It’s about 100ft in length!!!  As you can see the water is a little deep!!! 

Sadly after his first dip, Henry didn’t like getting his feet wet…..  his mis fire is magnified….  After a couple of miles he improves….  But only a little…..  he coughs and splutters every time we put our foot down…..  this will make any other water crossings a bit of a problem as he could stall halfway across and flood the engine!!!…..

As we trundle round the park we cross a couple of log bridges and through forests.  We see lots of elephant, hippos and even a crocodile!  There are plenty of other antelope, zebra and impala.

One big pot hole takes us by surprise and snaps all the cable ties holding the canopy on and it come to rest, almost hanging off the back of the car!   We realize the tent has a cover holding it down for when we are driving around….  And it has a ratchet strap within it….   We pull this out and strap the canopy to the car….  Fantastic…  that’s not going anywhere!   All we have to do now is figure out how not to lose the tent…..  with no rope to hand….  We find some jump leads in the back and use them to clip it down….  Good enough for now…..

A guide in passing in a 4x4 slows us down and asks for a cigarette…..  he tells us there are lion under a tree about 3kms away….. (When you are proper seasoned safari/hunters like us, you call them lion….. only tourists refer to the animals with a plural…..  )  We find them NEXT to the track…..  THEY ARE INCHES AWAY!!!.....  12 OF THEM!!!....  Fortunately they are more interested in sleep than us!  Lorraine gets VERY panicked as one of them looks her in the eye!...  and spends her time with both hands on the window winder!

Our lives somewhat pass before our eyes as Henry doesn’t start too easily when it’s time to leave!!.... his coughing annoys some of the lion and they move away slightly……   “Sorry guys….  Don’t eat us!”

We come another water crossing……  I go through it on foot to check it’s not too deep for Henry…  mind the crocs!   Given Henry’s current form, we wish each other luck and go for it……  we cough our way through the water and make it to the other side…..  Wayhay!!!.... but only just!...   we carry on….

Hummm…..  after this water crossing, Henry starts to mis behave….  Again…..  coughing….  ON top of this….  And possibly worse…..  the battery light on the dashboard lights up…..   it looks like the alternator might be about to go…… or already gone.  

(what does this mean?  Well the car will still run with a slightly dickie alternator, however if the alternator isn’t working, it isn’t charging the battery, so if the engine stops….  It will NOT start….  We would have to push start it…. 


Humm…..  a problem when in the middle of a water crossing, or ….  When we get to our campsite, we have to camp on the top of a hill to do a rolling push start in the morning….. needless to say…..  the combination of problems raises the level of worry in the car…. Will Henry last the day!!?????.....)

More trees, elephants, zebra etc etc….

An hour later…..  we jump for joy as the alternator light goes out!!  We let the engine charge the battery for some time.

 I decide to stop and try to find the problem with the misfire…….  Yet again we find ourselves in the middle of a game reserve, trying to fix Henry, whilst Lorraine keeps an eye out for lion.  I go through the basics, spark plugs, leads etc etc.  Whilst checking the air filter I drop the wing nut that holds it in place….  ½ hour later….  We still can’t find it!!!....  ARSE!!!!!.....  eventually we  use another nut from some ware else instead….  However the bonnet is now become a little more loose, than before!….

Henry starts, but the alternator light is on again…….

A few more panicky water crossings, checking the depth first….  Alternator light comes on……  alternator light goes out…… alternator light comes on……  stays on…..  AHHHH!!!...... 

Now, the real  problem becomes apparent ……  as if this lot wasn’t enough already!!!!......  with our problems, delays etc etc…  time is marching on……  we have to get a move on as it will be getting dark in a couple of hours  or so….  We have to get out of the park and find our way to the camp site some 60kms away…..  You DON’T camp in the park…..  for obvious reasons….. 

We stop for 3 minutes to look at some basking hippos in a big lake next to the road, we take a picture and crack on…..  can’t stop too long!

We cough our way to the exit!...  way hay!!!....  Thank goodness for that!…. 

There is a small village just outside the exit….  I ask them if there is a mechanic around who can look at the car…..  I leave the engine running…. As the alternator light has been on for a couple of hours now….  The battery must be dead…..

A chap comes over…. Confirms my thoughts….. we turn off the engine…..  try to start it….  Nothing…..  the lights barely light up on the dash….  “you need a new alternator……” he wisely says…..

 We manage to recroute some help from 10 blokes around the village and like a geriatric phoenix, push start Henry back to life…… 

OK…..  time for a reality check….. it’s now 6pm…… 

we are not going to get to our campsite before dark……   its 20kms away…. 

Without an alternator/ battery……  if it gets dark…  the head lights will not work…… That’s really bad!

We consult the locals, they tell us there is another campsite quite close…..10km away, just stick to the road and you will pass it…...

We crack on…..  it’s now getting worryingly dark…. within 10mins, we have another deep water crossing….  I walk across to find a route and find the only way is to drive in a big S shape (on its side)  to get across, if we deviate, the water went halfway up my chest,  therefore, the water will be halfway up the windows…. We will stop and we will not start…….  With hearts pounding……. We cross…… Henry coughs….  We slow to an almost stop…… BIG REVES!!!....keep to the path!...    ….   …. …….  ……  we MAKE IT!!!!......just.

We come out the other side…..  Henry just manages to get across…. But, within 500yards…. The alternator light goes out!!!  Amazing!!!!....   we can now use our lights and charge the battery. 

Within 2kms the alternator light is back on…..ARSE!!!!  …. 

We press on, now with the lights dimming by every yard, ….. before too long the torches come out…..  These piddley little things are now much brighter than the head lights…..

½ hour later……. ….. a light bulb moment!......  Every time we crossed a river……  the alternator would start to work for a short time……  could it just be muddy water in the contacts of the alternator???.... 

“lozza, grab a big water bottle, put a small hole in the top to make a squirty jet water pistol type thing…. I have an idea!”

The problem is that because there is literally no power in the battery, if I let go of the accelerator, the car stalls…. Therefore we can’t stop easily…..  with some thought, we manage to stop (Lorraine on my lap to keep the revs up.  We stop and I get out, leaving her to rev the engine in the driving seat) 

Yet again, we are in the wild….bonnet up….  Lorraine having to stay in the car this time …. Trying to look for lions/ hyenas!..... in the dark!  

Through the spinning fan belts, hot exhaust and hot water pipes, I manage to squeeze the water bottle behind the alternator, right over the spinning brushes….(I think?...)  I give it a big squeeze, and again and again, trying to clean the brushes like a jet washer……

“THE LIGHTS OUT!!!!  THE LIGHTS GONE OUT!!!!!......  Its WORKING!!!!.......  ” screams Lorraine!

Oh my god…  I can’t tell you what a relief we felt.  

With a quick bit of yoga… I'm back in the driving seat, lights ON!!! And we are off……… 

so…. Next problem,  where the hell are we???? 

We drive for another 30mins….  No campsite….. 

As we are driving along ……  suddenly, out of the darkness a road sign!….. not a good one… this was across the road, all its markings on the other side…(so it didn’t light up with the head lights)…  we go crashing through it at 40k/ph and come to a skidding stop in the middle of a 4way junction…..

This  4 way isn’t anywhere on the “map”.  We get out and pick up the sign…. It just has chevrons on it…  pointing in both directions….  We have a good look round…  no signs anywhere……  ARHHH!!!!!...... 

We have no idea where we are, or which way to go.

Do we go left, right or straight on?.....

I have a good look round…..  most of the tyre tracks seem to turn right……  well…. Let’s turn right…. 

After a few hundred yards we start descending down a slight (really slight) incline, for about a hundred yards.  

10 mins later, we reach a junction….  With a use full sign!!!!...... ish…..  it tells us that we are actually in the Chobe national park!..... 20km further north than we want to be!

We must have passed the campsites when the lights weren’t working, or we are on a different road altogether, who knows?

We chat and deliberate for some time and decide that we are properly lost….. we could be going round in the bush for hours getting more lost.

“That’s it, it’s now 8:30pm.  We are going to set up camp and figure this out in the morning.”

We travel back the way we came to the slight incline and park on the top, this way, if henry has a problem starting in the morning, we might be able to push start him in the morning.

Once stopped, we leave the engine on, to charge the battery for as long as possible.

Lorraine is determined to stay in the car all night “we are in the Bush with all the animals!!!....” 

but with a little persuasion, we quickly set up the tent and grabbed some food to make some sandwiches for dinner, inside the tent.

“This isn’t the type of trip we had planned.”    Still we have an early night!...... as we listen to all the rustles and noises of the bush as we “drift off……  3hours later!......

What a day!.....

16^th October…………  Henry the phoenix!

After a reasonable nights sleep….  We wake a 5:30 at first light. 

It was always our plan to get up at first light today as we have a lodge booked for tonight’s stay.  But it’s no ordinary lodge!  This is our ONE, extremely self indulgent luxury night! Our ONE chance to be properly pampered and looked after!  Needless to say, we wanted to get there just as soon as possible to get into the pool and relax….. 

Oddly our bush camping experience has a small upside!...  we were actually closer to our luxury lodge than our planned stop over!...  you see there is a small positives to had out of yesterdays complications!

Quick as a flash we pack up the tent and get into the car.

We look each other in the face….. 

“here we go,…. come on Henry!!!....”  we turn the key….. and the engine turns over!!!.. 

“we have power!!...... from the battery…..  come on Henry start!!!....”  

Row,row, row, row, row.  The battery is tuning the engine but he isn’t starting!!!!..... ARHHHHHHH!....  we stop. ……  give him a moment……  try again…….  Row, row, row, row, row….. stop…….

Row, row, row, row, row….. stop……. “COME ON HENRY!!!!...... you piece of…..”  Row, row, row, row, row….. stop…….

Row, ..row,….. row, ………….row,…………………………… row….. stop………………. Click, click click….. DEAD……

Lorraine look close to tears.

We were convinced today would be a new day.

After  a quick chat/sob we figure not all is lost…..  we are on a slight hill after all…… we both put our backs into it and shove Henry to slow walking pace…..(80yrds left of our hill), jump in and dump the clutch,…. Cough cough cough… nothing.  We come to a stop.  Again!….(60yrds left of our hill), cough cough… nothing ….. (40yrds left of our hill), cough cough… nothing …..(20yrds left of our hill), cough cough… nothing.  

The disappointment is unbearable, and we have used every last bit of energy to get Henry moving and he still won’t start!!…  we are both close to tears.

We decide to walk toward the sign we saw the previous night, maybe some cars will pass and give us some help.  If we get in some bother with any animals, we can climb to the top of the sign. 

We load ourselves up with water, food, (and I get my penknife…. Didn’t tell Lorraine!..) before we go Lorraine writes a note asking for help and telling any would be Samaritan which direction we have gone.

“Right, before we go, we have got 20yards left on our hill, one last time…. Lets push!! Come on!! “ Cough cough cough… nothing. 

Right then, Lorraine has an Epiphany!!!!.....  “oh my god….. you have been doing the immobilizer thing??...right???....”

The car has an immobilizer, when you turn on the ignition, you have to press a button on a key fob, then it will start. 

When we tried to start it on the battery earlier, I did press it, but in the haste to jump in the car whilst jump starting it, it had slipped my mind!!!........

With 10 yards left and with every last bit of energy we could both muster…..  we shove Henry to a slow walk, jump in, dump the clutch……. And just like a brand new Bentley, without so much as wheeze or a cough….. Henry burst into life!!!!!!!!!!!..................

We almost cried.

So, after all that… we are hysterical with emotion. All we have to do is figure out where the hell we are.

We follow the road we had been on the previous night…..  all the way to a bridge over a short, but deep water crossing……  only the bridge isn’t finished…..  we try every road and track to find a way round….  All lead no ware, except one comes to a very deep water crossing…..  Far too deep to drive through.  After 40 mins of driving around and not getting any ware or seeing anyone, we decide to give up and go back to the village some 40km back the way we came the previous night.  (this is proving to be a knight mare as we are using up our precious petrol!!!)

Amazingly half way back to the village we come across some work men.  They kindly agree to show us the way.  “didn’t you see the sign?” one of them says.

We follow them back toward the missing bridge.  10kms before the dead end they stop at a 4way stop…. (4way stop is a little over descriptive…..  your thinking a cross roads, with signs…..  ohhhh no…..  this was the gravel track we were on, but crossing this was a track…..  basically some flattened grass the width of the tyers of the car.  On the ground was a knocked over  sign….  (not the one we hit on the previous night….  but exactly the same, chevrons pointing in both directions!!!... WHAT KIND OF SIGN IS THAT???..... it doesn’t say which way is what!....  anyway, we thank the guys and we disappear onward.

Henry has been behaving, but still has a misfire.  The alternator still works…. Every appear to be going well.  After a hard 150km of deep sand tracks……  we make it to our Savuti Lodge.

We are immediately greeted by some amazingly attentive staff, carrying our bags, giving us fresh cool towels and a glass of water.   They take us down for elevenses and meet the other guests.  Every one eats together in savuti, so we sit down amongst the other guests overlooking a watering hole full of elephant …..  (notice the singular again!!.... ) and give them the abridged highlights of the previous days adventures!  All the guests are so lovely, there is a couple from Yorkshire and a group of 4 from Australia.  We have such fun with them over the next 24 hours.

Our room is amazing, overlooking the watering hole.

Soon enough  we hit the pool….  Again, overlooking the watering hole, and help ourselves to the free beer!

The contrast between the previous 24hrs and this is unbelievable….  I float about like it’s a dream.

In the afternoon we get taken out on a game drive (its nice not to be driving for a change!) and we see a pack of 8 wild dogs….  Apparently only 800 left in the world.

After dinner we get escorted back to the room, as apparently lions sometime come into the camp!!!...

17^th October

After an amazing night’s sleep, nice not to be in a tent!!  We get woken by some lions… sorry lion…. Roaring next to the waterhole outside our room!

We meet every one for breakfast then get taken out on a game drive by one of the guides.  We have a morning coffee out in the reserve whilst watching a couple of elephant!  Despite his best efforts our guide doesn’t show us much that we haven’t seen before, but he is by far the best tracker.  He followed some tracks made by a leopard for some time, only to lose him in the bush.

Soon enough it sadly time to leave.  We are very sad and somewhat apprehensive about getting back into Henry for his final big push north to Kasane.  (A 300km sandy track drive to the border…..)

Our new Australian friends wave us off and take pictures as we leave.  “best of luck!.....”

Henry coughs into life…..  sounding more like a tractor than a 4x4.

The looks from the guys, as we drove out said a lot, from terror to pity!

150km later….. henrys getting hot……   hotter……  hottest…….   We have to stop.  Once again, with the bonnet up.  He has burst another water pipe….  No dramas, we let him cool down and shorten the burst pipe down and fix him up.  Within no time we are back driving.  It’s surprising how quickly we start to take these things in our stride….  If this had been day 1, we would have been distraught!

100kms later we arrive at Chobe river front, which is exactly that.  50km of river front teaming with animals.  We see our first couple of water buffalo!  That’s it, we have seen the BIG 5!  Lion, elephant, leopard, rhino and buffalo.  Within no time we see hundreds!

We make it to the campsite with no more dramas from Henry.  We both give him a congratulatory slap for getting us all this way.  We only have 60miles of main road to Livingston to go before our journey will end.

18^th October

Today we are leaving Botswana and heading into Zambia, but in our way is the busy border crossing at Xkanaker.

As soon as we arrive we are chased by some blokes wanting to sort out our arrangements for crossing the border…. “small fee, small fee!.... we can do it 40 minets, it will take you 4 hours….”  We politely decline. 

The border is the chobe river, so we get stamped out on our passport, get on a car ferry. 

On the other side we are greeted by a massive que of trucks and what appears to be… complete mayhem!....  We wave our hands and drive past everything up to the front of the que, pretending to be stupid tourists…..  well, not so much pretending!

Very quickly we realize that everyone in Zambia wants a hand in your pocket and tourists are the rice ones that need to be taxed!  A theme that will continue for the next few days.  

First we have to pay the car ferry, locals pay $2 we pay                  $20

Importation Tax for the car                                                             $50

Carbon tax for the car’s engine                                                       $40

Insurance                                                                                       $25

Visas                                                                                             $110

Council levy                                                                                   $25

Reflectors for the car                                                                     $5

And some other random bit of paper… don’t know what it is!     $20

All of which are in a separate building/container with another long que of people.  It feels like we are being taken for a ride….. and I'm sure we probably are.  Anyway, US $295 and 1.5 hours later, we are on our way.

We drive through Livingston on to “The smoke that thunders” or Victoria falls.  We are somewhat surprised and slightly disappointed to find that as we are in dry season, half the falls haven’t got any water….  Never mind, it’s still very impressive.

Anyway, we make our way across the dry side of the river to devils pool, a small 3 meter deep pool right on the edge of the falls!!  It’s quite high!

I bribe a fisherman with some beers and he gives us 4 fresh fish which we have for tea!  Very nice!

19^th October

So we have seen Victoria fall from Zambia, today we go to look at it from Zimbabwe. 

We cross the border and over Victoria falls bridge.  It appears as though Zimbabwe wants as much money from the tourist as Zambia, charging us $55 each for a visa!

The falls look amazing from this side and we see where we were swimming on the previous day.

We go for a wander round the town of Victoria and have lunch at the very colonial “Victoria falls Hotel” overlooking the bridge.

Yes that’s right, this is us falling 111 meters into the gorge attached to a rope!  I kept my cool and dignity and screamed like a schoolgirl all the way down!... not my finest hour!

20^th October

Today we go rafting down the Zambezi river for the whole day!  It’s very exciting as we disappear into some of the biggest river rapids in the world!

Within no time we have flipped the boat and are swimming down the rapids…..  we survived and bought the dvd of our adventures!

21^st October

We arranged to meet up with one of the waitresses from our campsite, who has agreed to show us the town.  She takes us through most of the towns major sites…..  “This is our new mobile phone mast….” To name but a few…. 

But within no time she takes us to the local market, tucked away in the far end of the town.   Here all the locals can buy anything they need from veg to fish.  Speaking of which, they have loads of stalls selling….  Sun dried fish of all things… hummm the smell?!..They have all sizes, from tiny things about a inch in length too ones about 10 inches long.  Apparently you boil them for about 4 hours…. Then they will taste nice……

We then get taken round a traditional village outside the town.  They show us where they sleep, cook, wash and explain some of their traditions.   Finally we get taken into the village market where it’s a bit of a free for all as about 30 traders beg you to help their family and buy a dodgy wood carving…..  we buy one!....

Before we drop off our city guide we ask her advice as to where to eat that night, she recommends a traditional restaurant.  It turns out to be a tacky tourist thing, where we get some bibs put round our neck!.... anyway, we make the best of our last night in Zambia.

22^nd October

Today we are saying goodbye to our long standing friend, Henry.   We get our things packed and clean up the car as best as we can be bothered.   We realize that we have gained a number of items on our trip that we can’t take with us, including:-

A set of jump leads,

A 5 gallon plastic water can… (we used it for fuel actually!.... well it was a lot cheaper than the….

5 gallon steal jerry can,

4 bottles of oil,

2 bottles of wine,

10 cans of castle larger,

And a bag of charcoal.

So rather than leave it all in the car…..  we decide to go back to the village we went to yesterday and trade!

This was great fun!... although by far the most popular item was….  The BEER!...  typical blokes!

Anyway, they starting bartering with each other to get the stuff and we ended up with a mountain of African Objet d’art…..  I retrospect, this is a bit of a bugger as our ruck sacks now weigh a ton!

We meet our driver at the airport, who is going to take the car back to Namibia.  We wave tearful farewell to Henry, but not before wishing the poor driver the very best of luck getting back!... 

In no time we arrive at Johannesburg airport and are met by our host for the night, Malcolm.  He is wonderfully attentive and waits for us as we take a whirlwind tour of the Apart idée museum in the centre of the city.  It’s a shame as we could have spent several hours here but, we arrive at 4 and they shut at 5.  No matter, we give it our best and try to get a handle on what happened to south Africa before and after Nelson Mandela’s release.  

We are greeted by Malcolm’s Lovely family when we arrive at the guest house and are immediately well looked after.   We really feel like one of the family as I bore them to sleep, retelling our adventures of the previous days whilst eating 5* food from the bbq.

23^rd October

Before taking us to the airport, we get another whirlwind cultural tour of Jo’Burg, stopping off in the notorious township of Soweto, home to many riots and police brutality over the years before democracy.  Finishing in the prison that Mandela was incarcerated. Before catching our flight to our sixth country in 4 weeks, Uganda.  

We arrive without a hitch and jump in a cab for a 1 hour ride across town to our hotel.  This place is ace!!   Almost all the “shops” are open and people are selling things at the market, but the market is lining all the roads…… for miles and miles!

On the way we stop and buy some fruit.  There are no street lights and crossing the street feels more dangerous than jumping off Victoria falls bridge!....    still we make friends with some of the locals and get a couple of pictures!

24^th October

Bright and early, we meet our guide to the next 8 days, Joseph.   Yet again we find ourselves in a 4x4 crossing an African country, however, this time we have a chauffeur and this time we have a reasonably new….ish… car.

We stop at a rhino sanctuary, responsible for reintroducing rhino to Uganda.  It’s a bit weird as although they are kept in the wild, they are constantly monitored by an armed guard and therefore quite use to human contact….  We can get with 15ft without them batting an eyelid.

We continue on to Murchison falls.  This is where the Nile…..  that’s right, …the Nile, drops 150ft down a 20ft gully at a rate of 1000 cubic meters a second!  The Power of water is amazing.

Well if you have made it this far, I would be amazed!   Sorry for being such a long one, but I will try to shorten it down for the next installment!

Hope everyone is ok back in blighty!

Join us next time when we should have seen the Mountain gorillas!!!

Smiles

Will and Loz